Lauri’s Blog

Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at  Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between  This week’s dream is from a woman who keeps dreaming of anorexic women…

I’ve been having a series of dreams in which I feel serious affection for other women. In each dream I see an unknown woman across a room or whatever and it’d be like a meeting I’ve always wanted — like love at first sight. And it’d always be very secretive and exciting and passionate. It can stop at looking, but most of the time it ends with making out or even sex.

Sometimes the details are so strong that I remember the girls as if they are an actual memory, and the last one was called Izzy. Furthermore the girls are always very skinny, maybe even anorexic-like, and I find it very attractive. I’ve been dieting a lot lately with eating-disordered tendencies, but not at an extreme stage.

In real life I really don’t feel awkward about the dreams but rather I actually wish they were real! For as far as I know I’m straight, but I’m sure I’d be able to love another woman all the same. Are these dreams a reflection of my life and thoughts?

Lauri:  Dreams are thoughts. Dreaming is a thinking process, but rather than thinking in words we are thinking in symbols, pictures and stories; this is because our night thoughts (our dreams) happen in the subconscious mind rather than the conscious mind. It’s a different language but still just as important — if not more –than waking language because we are far more honest and insightful when we dream. Any emotion you feel in a dream is directly connected to current waking life emotions.

The desire you feel for these women in your dreams isn’t actually connected to a waking life desire for women but rather a waking life desire to have the waif-like, heroin-chic image that the girls in your dreams have. I believe your dream is very insightful as to what is going on in the minds of women who suffer from eating disorders. Your dream shows us how strong that desire is to have a smaller frame than you perceive yourself to have… so strong that it is equivalent to sexual desire. As we all know, sexual desire is one of the hardest desires to control!

Interesting that one of the girls even had a name. This is actually a good sign. It shows us that you are aware and have “identified” the fact that you may actually have a problem. Recognizing it is always the first step. I hope that you will address this issue before it gets out of hand because your very life is at stake! Please do it now before it is too late.

Strange sex dreams, death of a loved one, weird things happening to your body… It’s ALL in there!  Grab your copy of So, What Did You Dream Last Night?  and understand your dreams like never before!

“Your books have given me so much insight into my dreams it’s crazy!!”   - Anne, Huntington, IN

I’ve obviously been doing this dream thing for too long because, even though I have not personally had the “chopping someone up” dream, I have had it reported to me many times!  So much so that I believe it is probably fairly common, perhaps even more than we might think; because odds are, there are oodles of fine, upstanding, perfectly sane folks out there that have had the dream… but are too afraid to admit it.

I was on the Rod Ryan Show yesterday, which airs out of KTBZ in Houston, TX and is simulcast in New Orleans when Rod read an email from a listener who had this very dream.  Once you understand the meaning of this less-than-pleasant dream, you’ll see why it is pretty common.  If you’re dying to know, then forward the audio below to the 6:24 mark.  Otherwise, go ahead and listen to it all.  You’ll find out why Rod can’t ever have a sex dream, what it means when you dream of falling, of being trapped, teeth falling out and more!

Don’t let your dreams frighten you!  Let them enlighten you!!  Grab yourself a copy of one of my books and you’ll easily understand your dreams every morning and get a HUGE edge in life.

“All my friends come to me now when they want to understand their dreams.  Your books have made me very popular!!”   – Gina, Syracuse, NY

Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at  Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between  This week’s dream is from a woman who can’t stop dreaming about her ex…

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two months. We’re very happy, he’s my best friend, and I’m head over heels in love with him. However, I’ve been having regular dreams about my ex-boyfriend. I was with him for 18 months, and we ended messily after I confessed I’d cheated. I later found out he’d cheated on me as well. In the dreams, we’re either together again and happy, or I’m trying to get him to come back to me, or I’m out for revenge. Why do I still dream about him when I’m happy with my current boyfriend?

Lauri: You may indeed be happy with your current boyfriend but odds are… you are not happy with yourself and the way things went down with the ex. You see, the majority of our dreams are caused by unresolved issues and your feelings and thoughts regarding your past relationship are clearly unresolved. Your variety of dreams involving him show us the inner conflict of emotions you still have about the whole thing.

The dreams where you are together and happy are connected to your feelings of wanting to be at peace with the relationship and wanting to remember the good times from it. The dreams where you are trying to get him back are connected to the guilt you have for doing him wrong. And, of course, the dreams where you try to get revenge are connected to your anger that he went and did you wrong too! Whew. I’m emotionally depleted from going over all that! As long as you continue to have conflicting emotions you will continue to have these dreams.

Since you can’t undo it, you may as well learn from it so that your current relationship doesn’t wind up an angry, guilt-riddled mess as well. Simply taking on the mindset of “lesson learned” and “wiser for the wear” is all it takes to make the dreams stop.

Dreamer’s Response: I’d say you’re spot on with your analysis! I feel bad about the way it all ended and wish I could undo it all. It’s good to know that I can, and should, just move on. Thank you!

Don’t let your dreams frighten you!  Let them enlighten you!!  Grab yourself a copy of one of my books and you’ll easily understand your dreams every morning and get a HUGE edge in life.

“Your books give awesome insight into dreams!!!”   - Joseph, Middleburg, FL

Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at  Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between  This week’s dream is from a VERY confused woman who had a cheating dream with a twist…

Recently, I had a very strange dream: I was making out with a guy, when suddenly, my boyfriend walks in, I hurriedly let go of the other guy and start apologizing to my boyfriend. Seems to be a rather logical scenario, right? Weird thing is: the guy I’m making out with, when my boyfriend walks in on me, is actually my boyfriend!  Basically, I’m cheating on my boyfriend with my boyfriend.

We’re in a relationship of 3.5 years now, with weekly sleepovers, dying to move in together but forced to wait — I’m in my last year of college, he’s looking for a job — and I don’t really get what this dream means.  I really love him, I’m sure we’ve got a future together, but cheating on him with him somehow seems significant.  Could you help me understand? 

Lauri: You are correct!  This dream is indeed significant!  But it’s not so much about the cheating element as it is about the making-out element.  Kissing in a dream is actually about intimate communication because — like kissing — it takes two mouths to communicate.  The day before this dream, do you recall having a deep, intimate and meaningful conversation with your boyfriend?  And did it seem unusual or out of the ordinary in anyway?  Did it allow you to see your boyfriend in a new light?  Did you learn something new about him?  Did you see a different part of him?  Was there any element to the conversation that made you realize that he isn’t who you thought he was… but in a good way (hopefully)?

There is also a hint of guilt in this dream that we must explore.  The guilt you feel in the dream is directly connected to something you feel a little guilty about in waking life.  Did your boyfriend perhaps show you a side of him that you rather liked but he was embarrassed about?  Perhaps you delighted in him showing you his vulnerable side, which perhaps goes against who he likes to portray himself as?  What in real life did you apologize to him for?  Did you laugh at something he didn’t think was funny?

Whatever the case, it seems your BFF has two sides to him that conflict with or contradict each other but that you kinda dig.

Response from Dreamer:

Well, I did have this dream shortly after we had a serious conversation about his job hunting. He had to quit college about a year ago and still hasn’t found a job. Times are though, but I was afraid maybe he wasn’t searching hard enough. Thing is… He kept the job-hunting for at home; when he’s over at my place, he wants to forget about the stressful hunt for a while.  He told me he sends out about five applications a day when he’s home, but that he gets answers for maybe one in ten.

I feel kind of guilty for not trusting him about the job hunting.  People keep asking me why he hasn’t got a job yet, did he apply at [insert some company's name here] allready, because it would really be something for him.  Their questions made me feel as if I should push him more.  He is serious about finding a job, and getting frustrated about being denied every chance.

I feel guilty for doubting him and sad for not being able to change a thing. Happy that he finally opened up about it though, he can be quite tight lipped about his fears and worries.

Strange sex dreams, death of a loved one, weird things happening to your body… It’s ALL in there!  Grab your copy of So, What Did You Dream Last Night?  and understand your dreams like never before!

“Your books have given me so much insight into my dreams it’s crazy!!”   - Anne, Huntington, IN

Ever watch the show Two and a Half Men (one of my very favorites!) and as the end credits roll you see a snap shot of a message?  It’s literally on screen, at the end of the credits, for one second.  Well, hubby and I happen to Tivo all the Two and a Half Men episodes and watch them during breakfast in the morning.  One morning dear hubby decided to pause the Tivo when that sneaky message popped up, and so we read it… and we laughed… and we laughed a little more.

These little messages are called vanity cards, and Chuck Lorre, Producer of Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory and Dharma and Greg (a not too shappy resume!) puts these vanity cards at the end of all of his shows.  They are his rantings, ravings, and humorous observations about… well anything!  They are well worth the pasue button!

I know, this seems like a random thing to blog about, but the reason I am is because of the vanity card I read today after watching a recorded Two and a Half Men.  It was a dream Chuck Lorre had about his mother AND he even provides his own – surprisingly insightful – Jungian analysis!!   I thought I would share it with you…

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #110

THE DREAM: I’m in a cemetery, attending a funeral. I’m not sure whose it is. My mother, who died a year ago, is there — alive but not well. We leave the funeral and I take her back to a place I used to live that is now unfurnished and cold. There is no food there. I leave her there anyway. I then find myself shopping in a supermarket while holding a baby swaddled in a blanket. The supermarket is run by young people. They play rock music too loudly for a supermarket and seem to be having a good time. I keep losing the baby, putting it down and forgetting where I put it. I select two items and go to the checkout stand where I’m told that one of the items, some sort of raisin bread, is very expensive. I tell the check-out girl I don’t want the raisin bread and then realize I’ve lost the baby again. Thankfully I find the baby but then decide I can’t leave my mother in an empty house. I hurry off to bring her back to where I now live, a comfortable home with all the amenities.

MY ANALYSIS: The funeral is for my inauthentic self. The self that’s been conditioned by parents, culture and environment to survive by whatever means necessary. It is a frightened, angry thing which I’m just now realizing is not my true identity. My mother played a powerful role in its formation. I take her to a barren place because I have not been able to confront nor integrate her influence into my consciousness. The baby is my authentic self. The essential soul that exists before conditioning. I alone am responsible for that self’s well-being and am constantly abandoning it in favor of the illusory comfort of the false self. The supermarket is filled with food, music and youthful energy which symbolizes the wisdom, creativity and vitality which nurtures the soul. There is a high price to pay for these things. It is the price of freedom. I balk at paying that price. Finally, I retrieve my mother and bring her back to the nice house, which means I’m ready to bring her influence in my life up to a conscious level.

CONCLUSION: My wakeful thinking is not drenched in metaphor, therefore the dream must have originated from some eternal source of compassionate wisdom, or, I shouldn’t read books about Jungian psychology before I go to sleep.